I-Statements
Suggestions:
I-statements can be used to express your feelings about a student's actions. It is very important students know you are criticizing their actions and not them personally. It allows you to communicate your feelings about behaviors that are a problem for you because of how it affects you.
- State your feelings to the person.
- Give a reason for your feelings.
- Do not accuse the child.
I-statements have three parts:
- A description of the condition that the educator dislikes.
- An expression of the feeling the educator has.
- A statement of the reason for the feeling.
Examples:
- I feel annoyed, when you and Jayne are not cooperating with your group, because it interferes with the group's learning.
- When you and Jayne are not cooperating, I feel annoyed, because it interferes with your group's learning.
- When your group is not cooperating, I am disappointed, because your group is not learning.
It is appropriate to remind the student it is their actions you dislike not them.
I really like you. When we sit down and talk about ... I really enjoy being with you. Sometimes your behavior, (pause) well, I just don't like it because it stops us from learning and enjoying school.
Mediation and I-statements video example
Purpose to illustrate a use of mediation with a talking stick and an I-statement in popular media.
Video
Source
Madame Secretary - episonde 2, season 2015, on CBS
Extracted from the full video at this location at about 36 minutes viewing time.