The “In” Crowd” and Social Cruelty – ABC News with John Stossel
Girls are considered popular if:
Boys are considered popular if:
Money: The wealthier________________________
Most people are either In or Out
Sometimes it is a matter how you’re born.
Cliques are a means of controlling people.
To be Cool you:
Have to believe that you’re not cool
Have to be seen with the right people
Humans have a primal need to be a part of a group, just like chimpanzees
Girls do more “dissing” and hold grudges and exclude: Being popular means you’re in the right group
Popularity does not mean that a person_________________
Out Crowd are the 20% of th people at the bottom of the Social Ladder:
The other kids__________;
Social Cruelty makes some kids not want to attend school
Children automatically seek out______________
By age 3 they can talk about it.
By age 12 kids seek friends to replace their family_____________________
The “average” kid has_______ friends.
Don’t worry about kids who have less than 5 friends, worry about kids who have ______friends.
It is important for kids to have at least 1 friend.
Lots of nasty things happen on playgrounds and adults just don’t notice.
Kids are afraid no to play with bullies because____________________.
21% of kids jump in and join the bully to avoid becoming the next victim
Even the attention of being harassed by a bully is better than)________________________.
Bullying happens every _____minutes on a playground. Bullies keep moving to avoid adult intervention.
Many times victims believe that they______________________.
Sometimes it is difficult to identify what is intimidation versus what is horseplay when kids do a lot of ________________________.
Sadly, teachers intervene less than_____% of the time.
Bullies want to be_____________, have power over____________, believe they are____________.
Bullies are more popular than victims.
Power is a euphoric (makes on feel elated and excited).
Girls also bully physically.
Bullies like to see___________ and will push them to that point. They don’t feel___________ for the victims, they feel good about making someone miserable (sociopathic: enjoys the misery of others).
Lonely children are the______________________.
Life is hell for kids who are picked on. Recess can be the _______________ for them.
Popular kids may bully and be permitted to get away with it by other kids and even teachers.
Some adults just tell kids to “____________________________” and “________________________”.
Sometimes bullying can end in _______________ for victims who receive no help or support.
Start Early with Pre-schoolers
Don’t let them deny, minimize or externalize. They must accept both responsibility and consequences.
Use Role Play to help kids feel the pain of the victims.
Help bystanders learn how to be assertive and intervene on behalf of the victim.
If just one child says “____________________” they bullying usually stops by the second time that statement is said.
Vicarious excitement: many bystanders may stand and watch or get involved in the bullying because it is a sad human pastime to watch people hit each other.
Role playing can assist in creating ____________ for victims and __________ for bystanders.
Peer Mediators is an excellent way to avoid violent confrontations.
Peer Mediates set ground rules for the conflict resolution process.
Role Play exercises which assign kids unknown charactertics can be a safe way to achieve empathy.
Adults and Schools are under a ___________________ to make school as safe as possible ant ot help make kids happier in school socially.
How important is middle school and high school?
Social Cruelty exists there
Weakest Link TV show event found bullying entertaining
People magazine is Middle School for adults
People even take Charisma Classes to overcome the stigmas felt in middle and high school.
The Out crowd still resents what happened in middle and high school.
Tortured memories of high school.
In Crowd exclusion for most
Adults may even believe that it’s the best years of a kid’s life (no way).
How can being an Outcast in your school be the best years of one’s life?
Popular kids do better in school and have the confidence to do better in life as well.
Bad times in school may spur some to work even harder to prove themselves.
Even the winner of Survivor credits his win to being picked on in high school.
No motivation is stronger than “I’m going to show them!” Like Sissy Spacek, Bruce Springsteen and Dustin Hoffmann.
Does high school every end?
What did we learn about bullying?
Adults often have_________________ about them or pay it no attention.
The fact that we can’t see everything should not stop us from trying _________ when aggressive acts occur.
Watch how your children____________________.
Watch the playground for acts of ______________________ immediately.
Ask your children about __________________________.
If your child does not have a least one friend,____________________.
Dr. Robert Sweetland's Notes ©