Sample Social Skills Procedures

How to introduce yourself

  1. Look at the person.
  2. Smile.
  3. Walk to the person
  4. Use a pleasant tone.
  5. Say something like, "Good morning I am (your name)."
  6. Extend your hand.
  7. Shake their hand and smile.
  8. Decide if you want to start a conversation. (see having a conversation)
  9. Say, "It was nice to meet you," when you leave

How to start a conversation

  1. Think of something to start out the conversation (weather, sports, hobby, …).
  2. Look at the person.
  3. Smile.
  4. Use a pleasant tone.
  5. Ask a question. (Enjoying the weather? How about those …?)
  6. Listen. (See listening.) Do not interrupt.
  7. Respond to their answers with a comment without changing the subject.
  8. Wait. If no response think about changing the subject.

How to accept a compliment

  1. Look at the person
  2. Smile.
  3. Use a pleasant tone
  4. Say "Thank you."
  5. Do not disagree with the compliment.

How to apologize:

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a pleasant tone.
  3. Say "I am sorry …
  4. State specifically what you feel was wrong.
  5. State a plan for not letting it happen again.
  6. Ask the person to accept the apology.

How to volunteer to help

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a pleasant tone.
  3. Ask if you could help the person.
  4. State what you would like to do to help or ask if there is something they would like you to help with.
  5. Might want to give a rationale or benefit.

How to report peer behavior

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a calm tone.
  3. Ask to speak to the person privately.
  4. Describe specifically what the person has done.
  5. Give a rationale, benefit, or reason for reporting.
  6. Suggest how the person might be helped if you have an idea.
  7. Thank the adult for listening.

How to resist peer pressure

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a calm tone.
  3. Thank them for wanting to include you.
  4. Explain that you do not want to participate.
  5. Offer an alternative activity if you desire..
  6. If necessary continue to refuse to participate.

How to get the teacher's attention

  1. Look at the person
  2. Raise a hand.
  3. Wait for the teacher to call on you.
  4. Use a calm voice.
  5. Ask your question or say what you want to say.

How to ask for something

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a pleasant voice tone.
  3. Specifically say what you want.
  4. Might want to use please.
  5. Say thank you if the request is granted.
  6. If the request is not granted keep cool and thank the person for their time.

How to disagree appropriately

  1. Take a deep breath, let it out and relax.
  2. Look at the person.
  3. Use a low soft pleasant voice tone.
  4. Use an empathy or a concern statement.
  5. Say specifically what you disagree with.
  6. Give a rationale or reason why you disagree.
  7. Thank the person for listening.

How to give negative feedback

  1. Look at the person
  2. Use a calm voice tone.
  3. You might want to give a positive statement or praise.
  4. Specifically describe the problem.
  5. Tell a rationale or reason why it's a problem.
  6. Offer a solution. If you don't have a solution offer a plan on how to find one.
  7. Thank the person for listening.

What to do when given directions

  1. Try to understand what the directions are.
  2. If you do not understand what you are asked to do ask questions.
  3. Think about what the consequences are for following or not following the directions.
  4. If you do not think you should follow the directions ask to speak to the person privately and calmly ask for a reason to follow the directions.
  5. If you still disagree you can decide to follow directions or not to follow directions. If you decide not to tell the person you can not follow the directions and give a reason. Be ready to standby your convictions.
  6. If you decide to follow directions, then no arguing, whining, or pouting.
  7. Say "OK." and follow the directions.

What to do when given criticism

  1. Look at the person
  2. Say "OK.".
  3. No arguing.
  4. Do not verbally disagree with the person at this time.
  5. If you do not understand ask for clarification in a calm voice.
  6. Consider waiting until later to decide to disagree.
  7. If you decide to disagree see How to disagree.
  8. If you agree with the criticism thank the person for being honest.

How to accept "No" for an answer

  1. If you do not understand why, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
  2. Use a low, soft, pleasant voice and ask calmly for a reason.
  3. Decide that you do not want to confront the person.
  4. Look at the person.
  5. Without arguing, whining, or pouting.
  6. Say "OK."
  7. If you disagree or have a complaint, bring it up later.

How to greet a person

  1. Look at the person
  2. Smile.
  3. Use a pleasant voice tone.
  4. Give a verbal greeting. (Hello, nice day. Wasuup!)

Dr. Robert Sweetland's Notes ©